Did you know that 50-60% of all Christian marriages end in divorce? In his book, The Blessings of Unity, Richard Case who with his wife Linda has been doing marriage retreats for over 14 years, found only a few of those marriages that have not moved to divorce are truly reflecting the wonder and glory of God. The remainder are living in mediocrity, ongoing conflict and certainly not enjoying the beauty of marriage.
Richard says that while we may be initially attracted to our spouse because of how different their personality is to ours, it is those differences that cause conflict. The husband tries to get his wife to be more like him while the wife does the same with her husband. These attempts to change the other person lead to significant conflict.
Richard and his wife Linda learned from their own marriage troubles that something was not right. They then learned the 2 keys to a successful marriage were :
- Be abiding in the Vine and walking in the Spirit. (John 15: 1-15)
- Learning the concept of unity–we are to live and only live through the principle of unity. This means working toward reaching agreement on all decisions, all issues and all things of our lives 100 percent of the time, all the time. (Psalm 133)
Next, there is a written exercise for husbands and wives to evaluate their marriage.
Chapter 2 is all about the opposite of unity-division and discord. This is a great chapter filled with concepts, scripture and personal examples from the author’s marriage.
Now you may be thinking, this is crazy, my spouse and I cannot agree on everything. I admit, I had the same thought. The author does not think that is possible either and says it is okay to disagree. In fact it is important for each of us to hold integrity with our true thoughts, beliefs and insights. The important thing is they don’t let it ruin their night or weekend, instead they get to unity by seeking God’s will.
There is also a chapter dedicated to handling disagreements and differences in opinion.
I think this is important and I think the whole concept can help us give up the fight to be right and seek peace and pray for God’s will instead. Who does not want more peace in their life?
Giveaway:
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Putting God First in your marriage, number one thing! Everything else will follow..